Save the Date

I was going to say that I recently got a wedding invitation in the mail that said "Save the Date" to make this post relevant, but it's not true.
The thought came to me about "Save the Date" and the whole concept seems funny to me.
My roommates in Seattle would get those invitations and they would be on our fridge for what seemed like (and probably was) years.
When people send a wedding invitation requesting people to "save the date", they are asking people what they're doing Friday night in 2020.

"Will we still be friends by then?"

A lot can happen in a 8 years. People move, have kids, have financial crises and maybe even die. There could even be a 'save the date' in between someone else's 'save the date'.

Are you in denial of your own engagement? "Let's just get engaged, set a date for 5 years in the future and see what happens. Maybe if we tell our friends about it, then maybe it will make us want it more."

I support the idea of a long courtship and a short engagement. People don't really like going to weddings anyway so by asking them to reserve some date in the distant future, it causes them some committment anxiety - because they know that you know that you don't know what you're doing June 12, 2020. By technically not having any set plans on that date, you automatically feel obligated to go.

So, be kind and practical. The date is June 12, 2012. Be there or be square.